Tooth Fairy

With all the things that my kids love and believe, I'm often surprised at just how magical they make everything, but how serious they can be. Matthew informed me recently that there's no such thing as Santa Claus, Reed gets him his Christmas gifts. The older boys have teased me about the Easter Bunny for years. (Where do you hide your ears and tail, mom)?

Now it's the tooth fairy. Matthew and CrystalLynn lost their first tooth this past week, (Darrian and Michael always lost teeth at the same time, makes me believe they really are my little brown hair brown eyed, all knees and elbows twins). Matthew put his tooth in a plastic bag under his pillow. (At our house we leave teeth in an envelope on the kitchen counter so that she doesn't wake anyone up trying to dig under pillows). He wanted to try and catch her. He didn't.

Crystal put her tooth in an envelope under her pillow, and this morning she found money under her pillow, and the envelope was torn open on the kitchen counter, her tooth missing. I said maybe the tooth fairy had to turn on a light to check and make sure there really was a tooth, and did it in the kitchen so she wouldn't wake anyone up. Crystal was ok with that.

I understand that at my sister-in-laws house you leave the tooth in a cup of water. You can dye the water with food coloring, and the tooth fairy wears a tutu the same color as the water in the cup. In the morning the colored water is gone the tooth is gone and the money is left in the cup.

So followed a heated debate between the 4 older boys about the believability of the tooth fairy. One of them swears he's seen her...like a twinkling star zipping through the air...another is adamant that the tooth fairy is a man, and he wears a toga, not a tutu. (He should be called the Tooth Master, fairies are gay)!

In the middle of all this I have one child determined to sleep on the couch this Christmas and see Santa. "I've heard his sleigh bells, I've seen the magic snowball, (more on the snowball later) but I've never seen Santa." Now to convince them all that Santa simply doesn't deliver gifts while anyone is in the room. He likes his anonymity.

'Tis The Season

I've had sick kids for a week. Nathan missed 3 days last week. On Thursday I had him, Gabriel, Michael and Darrian home sick. Today all the boys are robust and at school, and I have Crystal draped in a blanket on the couch beside me. She has a fever and is busy burning up.

Matthew is as mad at me as he's ever been because he wants to be sick and stay home too. I took his temperature this morning, and he howled in frustration when I told him he isn't sick. "96.9 perfectly normal for you, little man, so hurry and get ready for school."

"But it's not fair that Crystal gets to stay home and I don't! I never get to do anything I want!"

I reminded him, sensibly, about the pneumonia he had earlier this year, Crystal didn't get that, did she?...So he isn't that left out...

"But I didn't get to stay home from school! Why can't I get something with a fever?"

I give up! All the hand sanitizer, Clorox wipes and vitamin c that I use for their behalf, and he wants to be sick...I'd like germ free bubbles to keep them isolated from all that is dirty and dangerous...and they'd complain that someone elses has more air, or a better bounce.

Besides, if they get bubbles, I want a padded cell, and an extra straight jacket to keep me warm!

...So I said I'd tell you about the gum...



Nathan was having trouble with his asthma, I'd already picked him up from school before Gabriel's talent show. We got to the Middle School gym right as the students were starting to file in, and somehow ended up in the bleachers surrounded by 7th graders.



Nathan and I were both chewing gum. I didn't think it would be a problem, we aren't students there. As Nathan got the camera ready and we waited for some measure of quiet, a teacher approached Nathan on his other side. The teacher started to talk to him, and I wasn't paying attention...I was watching people adjust the microphone...I was turned away from the teacher, so she couldn't see my face. (It probably didn't help that I was wearing a bright pink hoodie with "Bloo" from 'Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends" on the front of it).



I felt Nathans body tense up next to me, so I turned to see what was going on. I caught a few important words like: gum, school, rules, all students...

I swallowed my gum, and just then another teacher, one that recognized Nathan from last year, appeared at our side to ask what the problem was. The first teacher seemed surprised that I was an adult, and the other teacher told her that we weren't students and she didn't need to enforce the rule with us.


The first teacher said that Nathan had been a student last year, and knew the rules, and should therefore throw away his gum. I smiled and said, "Nathan, hurry and swallow your gum, I don't want to get in trouble". He stuck his gum to the roof of his mouth as he swallowed with difficulty.

The first teacher turned and left, the second apologized and took a seat nearby. Some time later I noticed Nate happily chewing away again. I told him not to be so obvious about it, and not to get caught again. He laughed at me, told me he couldn't believe I'd swallowed my gum...I guess they couldn't have sent me to detention or anything like that.

This is the first kid free weekend (where they are all with other mom and other dad rather than with Grandparents) since Sept. 13th, when I whined and cried about them being gone.

I'm ok. (So tense that my jaw hurts from clenching my teeth, my phones going to fall apart from me checking for any word from them every other minute, and I'm so much fun to be around that I had to go to the dining room to type because I was disturbing Reeds one morning to sleep in)! I'll be a lot more ok tomorrow night when they are all home.

Other than that, we had a phenomenal week. Gabriel tried out for the 7th grade talent show. He played Ode to Joy on his guitar. The morning of the talent show he decided he'd play something else...I wasn't so sure, I didn't know how prepared he was for the other...I hadn't heard him practice this other.



I got to the gym and sat amongst hundreds of 7th graders. (Nathan went with me so I wouldn't feel out of place. Funny story, all about gum and teachers, I'll tell you later). They started, Gabriel was 2nd in line, and although it took forever to get the microphone set and him ready to go, he looked confident. Then he started...he did great, but he played very fast...I guess he was a little nervous after all.

End of the term...all work done and turned in, kids thrilled about "just 3 more to go" and me?...Well, we've got our homework routine and scouts and dance for Crystal all figured out and running smoothly, blissful?...That'll happen tomorrow night!

...I ate WHAT??

Last week sometime I was on my way to Tooele to pick Nathan up from a friends house. (Funny how driving into town I feel like I'm accelerating through the gates of Hell). Before I went to grab him I stopped to visit a good friend that I haven't seen since we moved to Midway.

She greeted me at the door much changed from what I remembered. Nearly bald, and pale, and tired, and absolutely beaming to see my long-absent face. The last time I'd seen her she'd had curly, long brown hair, an energy about her that was contagious. Although I'd spoken to her on the phone the day before, she hadn't told me. In fact, through my absence she hasn't complained about anything.....and I find her just finished with her last round of chemotherapy, her two adult sons living at home to care for her, her job gone, her finances more than difficult.....still smiling and shining and with such strength of spirit.

...Got me thinking about the things I'm doing actively and the things I've been putting off or down right neglecting.
The things I want to teach my kids but have just been doing myself because it's easier and less frustrating than to walk them through it. Books I've wanted to read. Naps I've wanted to take. Food that I meant to eat earlier in the day so that I don't eat everything right before bed and really pack in the potential for acid reflux.....

So with a light heart I'm able to say tonight that the laundry is folded and put away. The kids are in their rooms if not actually in their beds. (In the boys room it is too noisy for me to believe that they are trying to be restful)! The dog is washed, my brother Richard and I are getting ready to start the 3rd book in a series of 4, and instead of having half a pint of Ben & Jerry's right before bed?...I had a piece of summer squash with brown sugar melted on the top. (Prepared by Reed, my vegetable hating German meatitarian).

Happy?.....Oh YES!!!......kids need kissed good night...Mom to the rescue!

My boys

Last night Gabriel and Nathan both attended their first etiquette dinner for young

men/young women. The boys put their name in a hat, and the girls drew a name from the hat to be paired for the evening.

A young lady in our Ward happened to be celebrating her 16th birthday. She got to draw first. She pulled Nathan out of the hat. (Keep in mind that Nathan is 13). One of the other kids shouted, "Hey, Nathan gets to take her on her first date!" I understand his reply was to flirt outrageously with her all night, exaggerated manners and lively conversation. She said she had a great time.

Gabriel got paired with a petite gal, and although he is usually shy around unfamiliar girls, he made the ultimate effort to be entertaining. He asked her about interests, she didn't have any. He asked what movies she's seen recently, she doesn't really watch movies. I think he left with a feeling of "are girls always so difficult?" To him I say, "Yes, babe. Yes they are, but never in a predictable or sensible way."

They'll always be my boys, but since when are they old enough/big enough/mature enough to want to be enchanting to girls?

Another day older...

So...other mom and other dad both flaked out the weekend of my birthday. This is ok with me, I'd rather have the kids home, but Reed had made plans...so his mother (bless her patient heart) took all 6 for the weekend.

Our bathroom had a huge jetted tub, and I've decided that's a necessity when we start house hunting. (Cumulatively I spent hours in it, I kept turning red and getting out resembling a lobster). Reed tricked me into leaving our room long enough for our Louis to sneak in and decorate, when we returned, I almost wet my pants! Reed opened the door and there was a man in our room...it took nearly a minute to process that it was Louis amongst all the balloons and streamers, then I laughed and blushed and laughed some more. (Louis was the best man at our wedding, and we love him more than our luggage)!

Everything in pink and blue and purple...4 kinds of cheesecake and my German Chocolate cake...how did he know?...his girlfriend, now done lighting candles, said that Reed and Louis have been planning since August 22nd. More than a month. I'm humbled.

Ryan never could be troubled with my birthday, I usually made my own cake and took care of the present on my own. Reed always has this gift for making me feel spoiled and special and pampered and loved...whatever was done that I deserve him I don't know, but I'm hooked, addicted, smitten, and more than casually grateful!

Now I wonder what will be expected for Louis' girlfriends birthday...I think we'll have time to figure something out.

Mom to the Rescue

Whoa!...Whoa.

I have 6 kids. 6. I'm not crazy, at least I'm not trying to be, but 6. Who am I and what am I thinking?!?!..and what have I done with Karen?

I've been helping one of the older boys with a book report for days. His idea is for me to bring the dog to class and tell about our dog. I asked him about the book...is the dog central to the story, is it a main character, is there any connection between him and the dog and the book, other than 'there is a boy in the book who has a dog, and I have a dog, so for my book report, I had my mom bring our dog and look, here he is, my mom can answer questions about him..'.?

His answer..."a boy in my class gave a book report and brought his dog..."

Me: What book was he reporting on?

Son: I don't know

Me: Was the dog a main character in his report?

Son: I'm not sure

Me: Why don't you get some more information?...Do a comparison between the boy in the book and his dog, and you and our dog...you can show ways that you are similar and point out differences...

Son: But the kid in my class didn't do that, he just showed us his dog.

Me: "I'm not crazy. You're the one that's crazy. You're driving me crazy. Put me in an institution. Said it was the only solution....

I recall a science fair project he did in the 4th or 5th grade...procrastinated and delayed until the night before when he panicked and I said "I Told You So" and I stayed up late into the night completing his project so he wouldn't fail...I won 3rd prize in the science fair, and I kept the medal!

I love my lovely little heathens...they make me so full of crazy!

They're home!!!

My sons and daughter are home...all of them! Here, with Reed and me, I can hear the boys arguing about movies and video games in the next room.

The only problems with this happy return is that Matthew couldn't find his teddy bear, but just now Gabriel found Teddy, and I have a happy Matty...and that Gabe couldn't finish all his homework at his mom's because he forgot his text book, and she-who-must-not-be-named took it as a clear sign that he needs to be medicated for his epilepsy. (Gabe doesn't have epilepsy, and I'll be dead and cold in the earth before I give in and medicate him for a condition he doesn't have).

Happy Karen loves having all the kids home, they've all been thoroughly hugged, smooched, snuggled, and are in bed getting ready to sleep.

My idea of HEAVEN!

Kid Free Weekend

All the kids have been gone since last night and I'm still more or less sane. I know when they're here, I tell them they're my reason for insanity, but nicely, and usually while I'm hugging them. (Matthew climbed into bed with us one morning, and asked Reed, "Papa, will you hug my neck?" Since then we tell the kids we'll hug their necks when they're being snots. "You seem to be having trouble today, come here and I'll hug your neck until you feel loved, or pass out, which ever happens first)...and although we do hug and hold them all, we do not choke them....but "hug my neck" gives a very funny visual picture.



I miss them. Their endless chatter, Nathan jumping out of laundry hampers to suprise me, Gabriels' dry humor with perfectly straight face, Darrian being squirly and wiggly, Michaels' persistance and charm, CrystalLynn wanting to be within my eyesight...making sure I'm always close by and Matthew with his intense desire to be big like his brothers but stay our baby. I hope they all know how precious they are, and I wonder if I'm conveying that to them.



This week Reed and I've had four of the kids, at different times, come into our room in the middle of the night, needing reassurance and love because of scary dreams. Each time they've asked if they can stay with us for a while, we've squeezed them into bed to snuggle. I get to hold them and talk to them about calm, sweet, sensible happy thoughts, "Sing your favorite primary song in your head sweetheart, or say a prayer to help you feel better." I listen to them until they're breathing rhythmically and I know they're asleep, then I carry them back to their bed, tuck them in, and stay with them until they're settled. It's weird to see their rooms empty, so I pull the door closed, and try not to open it until they're back.



What amazing beings they are, and how fortunate I am to have them in my life...but tomorrow afternoon when they are supposed to return home is so far off, and I want them here now so I can see them and hold them and know that everything's alright with them!

Crazy isn't covered on my insurance policy...

Ok, so I have a really big soap box about this subject, and it's only partly me being petty and complaining. My battle of choice?...Ex-husbands and ex-wives...particularly mine and Reeds.

I'm not professing to be perfect, goodness knows I make plenty of mistakes and like every toddler I'll try anything twice to make sure the outcome is not a fluke...but She-who-must-not-be-named is pushing way too hard. Three weeks ago, she ranted and raved that we wouldn't adjust our whole lives so that she can take the kids on weekends when she has money. I told Reed it sounds like a personal problem, and she'll have to deal, we're going by what we've got from the judge. (I don't want to find myself in contempt of court). She had such a fit that we gave her the next two weekends in a row. The first of which she blew off, and I thought she was blowing this one off too, but we finally heard from her. (We're supposed to hear by Wednesday night at the latest, otherwise we assume she's not coming because she usually doesn't).

So we're driving the kids to Tooele, so they can return crushed, detached, and despondent...and I can just about promise that Sunday she'll call in a panic and we'll have to go back to pick the kids up. And she'll stiff us on gas money, again. The last time she had them she called in a panic and had us pick them up a day early because she was being evicted. Well, that turned out to be a steaming pile of stinky Tooele poop. She's still in the same place, and we're waiting for the next lie...cause there always is a newer, bigger, uglier story.

She, herself, I couldn't care any less about, but the kids...Gabriel wanted to go on the young men/young women activity tomorrow, now he'll miss it. Last Friday when the kids asked if she was coming, I told them no, she said she had an absence of transportation, Darrian whooped, "Yahoo" and I was gratified that he wasn't disappointed about having to stay with me. She lets them down so frequently, and bless their hearts, they still hold out the impossible hope that she'll grow up and take an active interest in their lives.

The boys are going to You-Know-Who's this weekend, too. So I will be childless, and angry. I hate when my 6 precious heathens are gone. I hate when any of them are gone, but all 6 at once is a shock to my system. I'm in mom mode...homework, dance class, scouts, play dates, Sponge Bob, Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends, laundry, dishes, dashing to their rooms when I hear a whimper or a cough...just ripping them away from me and hoping I'll manage without them here is not realistic...and besides, she's the one who left. Left her children, her husband...and without even a thought about how it would effect them...can't she just back off and let them be happy?!

I did warn before hand that I had a massive soap box about this, and this is just a scratch off the surface...a toned down, non-profanity laden completely devoid of promises of bloody violence, mellow ranting. (You should hear when she's done something stupid to endanger them or hurt their feelings...I wax poetic and psychotic about what she's done and how I'd like to deal with it).

...so in conclusion, I will leave you with the advice that I'm ready to give to many...If you don't want to spend time with your children, not want to take care of them or even be interested, don't have kids...and if you ignore this advice, don't try to salve your troubled conscence by doing a lazy, sorry, boneheaded job of being in their life when others are taking better care of, and love them infinately more than you can even comprehend.

AMEN

Swiss Days

Wow! I'll say it again, Wow! I've always enjoyed Swiss Days...not necessarily all the chaos, but I love the things that are offered...food, crafts, inflatable slides for the kids.

This year I had two kids performing, not just riding bikes in the parade with their school, but actually performing. Darrian and Crystal wanted to join the Children's Swiss Chorus, and I let them! The costumes were adorable, Darrian in white knee socks, (no, he wasn't thrilled about that part) and Crystal all Swissed up, like the St. Provo's girl but with less cleavage.

They were adorable, they sang, Darrian rang a bell, they danced, and I was a teary eyed, 'Oh gosh, look how big my babies are'...and as Reed said, "Such a girl."

Gabriel signed up to work on the square for 1 shift of 3 hours. By Saturday night he'd spent a total of 11 hours working in the heat, and he loved it. Maybe I'm not giving the kids enough responsibility....

The best part was walking to and from the town square to browse, get kids to performances and parades on time, and take them back home to change again so as not to destroy their costumes. I think I walked down and back about 5 times in 2 days. I had shin splints, and my calves were on fire...I believe I could us it in an exercise program...the Swiss Days leg toner.

Fun pain or not, my 2 days of endless walking didn't make my legs amazing, so I'll try harder next year.

Loves to All!

Mmm...food!

Meal time is always complete chaos at our house. My two youngest, particularly, tickle my fancy frequently with their take on the English language as it applies to what we're eating.

One day in the kitchen, I was preparing lunch for my two sweet babies, (then currently 4 years old). Crystal asked what I was doing. "Making lunch," I said.
Smiling, she asked, "what kind of lunch?"
"Soup."
"What kind of soup?"
"Chicken."
"Chicken Little?" This she said with a straight face.
"Yes honey, Chicken Little."

The next was within weeks. I'd prepared an amazing meal, and when the kids were called to the table they decided that it wasn't what they were eating. In frustration, I asked what they wanted instead. The four big boys wanted grilled cheese sandwiches. Crystal said she, also, wanted a "girl" cheese sandwich. Matthew, the youngest and most determined to never be left out or out done piped up with, "I don't want girl cheese. I want a boy cheese sandwich."

The most recent food funny happened the other night with Brussel sprouts. Matthew, now almost 6, has decided that salad is ok and not a major source of contamination on his plate. As the bigger kids piled the sprouts onto their own plates, (What can I have done so wrong that my kids think Brussel sprouts are a treat?), Matthew protested from the table. "Mom, I want some little salad balls too!"

The food not-so-funny isn't the kids at all, but me. Some time ago, my husband found that if I laugh at the right moment while trying to swallow my food or beverage, I snort it into my sinus' and sometimes it comes clear out my nose. It started with a fudge brownie, and has included soda, Swiss Days bratzlies, ice cream of many varieties, breakfast sausage, sticky fingers at Winger's, pasta...you get the general idea.
This was bad enough when it was only Reed trying to induce this reaction, but the kids have learned from his example, and it is now a favorite family pastime to try and make stuff fly out mom's nose during meals. Ewww, gross!...yes I agree, and I'm appalled that my nose is the nose committing the offense!

I've resorted to eating before or after everyone else, to avoid and nasal-digestive complications. The boys have now resorted to making one another spray edible things. I may be raising them to be heathens, but they're all such sweet little heathens!