Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Tickle your Funny Bone

The boys are having a joke telling marathon...I thought I would share...

Nathan: The captain of a ship in the royal navy was charged with retrieving his queens treasure from a secret location. He'd have to sail through pirate infested waters and he must not be captured or sunk. The first sighting of a pirate ship, the captain told the first mate to get his red coat. After a long hard battle, they escaped with many men wounded. The captain asked the first mate to clean and put away the red coat.

Later in the voyage they were seen by two pirate ships, again the captain ordered the first mate to get his red coat. Following a fierce and bloody battle the captain asked the first mate to return the red coat to his cabin. The first mate asked the captain why he always fought in his red coat, the captain replied that it was so the sailors wouldn't despair when they saw the captain bleeding from battle wounds.

Just then the signal was given that there were ships on the horizon. The captain looked through his spy glass and counted at least ten ships. He turned to his first mate and said, "Give the order to prepare for battle, and bring me my brown pants!"

Gabriel: If there were no such thing as grass, all the cows would die, and that would be an udder disaster.

Reed: How do you catch a polar bear? You go into the middle of a frozen lake or pond, and drill a hole in the ice. You put frozen peas all around the hole. Then, when the bear comes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.

Michael: Knock knock...who's there?...Alison...Alison who?...Alison to you after you listen to me.

.........There are more, but I can't keep up with them all!

Much love and I promise more later!

Thursday, March 5, 2009

March?...Already?!

February went by so quickly...and now March is progressing...the trouble with this?...Nathan turns 14 on the 8th, and I'm absolutely baffled and astounded that so much time has passed!

Although he doesn't yet weigh as much as I do, he's suddenly taller than me...is that allowed?
He starts seminary and high school next year...who authorized this?

This is the first school year that he's cared about clothes and shoes...he has very definite opinions about what he doesn't want, and I get to guess what is acceptable. He does his hair, his curls have to be a certain way...he has a preference for certain shampoos and conditioners...he finally understands how important his grades are and works to find a healthy balance between school, scouts, church, friends and exercise.

I've been asked frequently if I feel old having a teenager...NO!!! I feel horribly inadequate, age wise, to have a 14-year-old. What's worse is that in May Gabriel will be 13 and there will be two of them! By the time Nathan is 18 there will be 4 of them...I will be more and more outnumbered and I still don't recall anyone asking permission for the growth of these children.

Warning signs of unauthorized growth:

Pants that fit last week are now floods.
We get to be excited about armpit hair.
Voices crack and girls aren't icky any more.
History and Discovery chanel really are as cool as mom's been saying for years.
Naps are cool again.
Girls aren't icky any more.
Clean teeth and breath are very important. (Mom and the dentist were right).
Helping with everyday things isn't punishment.
Girls aren't icky anymore!!!

I'm not sure how, or when, but they're growing into awesome young men, I'm astounded at how smart they are, how big they are, and how I look at them expecting that they'll still be my sweet little guys only to find that they're maturing and much closer to driving and dating than I'm comfortable with!

I'm ready for the sweet embrace of senility and the ultimate frozen yogurt!