Crazy isn't covered on my insurance policy...

Ok, so I have a really big soap box about this subject, and it's only partly me being petty and complaining. My battle of choice?...Ex-husbands and ex-wives...particularly mine and Reeds.

I'm not professing to be perfect, goodness knows I make plenty of mistakes and like every toddler I'll try anything twice to make sure the outcome is not a fluke...but She-who-must-not-be-named is pushing way too hard. Three weeks ago, she ranted and raved that we wouldn't adjust our whole lives so that she can take the kids on weekends when she has money. I told Reed it sounds like a personal problem, and she'll have to deal, we're going by what we've got from the judge. (I don't want to find myself in contempt of court). She had such a fit that we gave her the next two weekends in a row. The first of which she blew off, and I thought she was blowing this one off too, but we finally heard from her. (We're supposed to hear by Wednesday night at the latest, otherwise we assume she's not coming because she usually doesn't).

So we're driving the kids to Tooele, so they can return crushed, detached, and despondent...and I can just about promise that Sunday she'll call in a panic and we'll have to go back to pick the kids up. And she'll stiff us on gas money, again. The last time she had them she called in a panic and had us pick them up a day early because she was being evicted. Well, that turned out to be a steaming pile of stinky Tooele poop. She's still in the same place, and we're waiting for the next lie...cause there always is a newer, bigger, uglier story.

She, herself, I couldn't care any less about, but the kids...Gabriel wanted to go on the young men/young women activity tomorrow, now he'll miss it. Last Friday when the kids asked if she was coming, I told them no, she said she had an absence of transportation, Darrian whooped, "Yahoo" and I was gratified that he wasn't disappointed about having to stay with me. She lets them down so frequently, and bless their hearts, they still hold out the impossible hope that she'll grow up and take an active interest in their lives.

The boys are going to You-Know-Who's this weekend, too. So I will be childless, and angry. I hate when my 6 precious heathens are gone. I hate when any of them are gone, but all 6 at once is a shock to my system. I'm in mom mode...homework, dance class, scouts, play dates, Sponge Bob, Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends, laundry, dishes, dashing to their rooms when I hear a whimper or a cough...just ripping them away from me and hoping I'll manage without them here is not realistic...and besides, she's the one who left. Left her children, her husband...and without even a thought about how it would effect them...can't she just back off and let them be happy?!

I did warn before hand that I had a massive soap box about this, and this is just a scratch off the surface...a toned down, non-profanity laden completely devoid of promises of bloody violence, mellow ranting. (You should hear when she's done something stupid to endanger them or hurt their feelings...I wax poetic and psychotic about what she's done and how I'd like to deal with it).

...so in conclusion, I will leave you with the advice that I'm ready to give to many...If you don't want to spend time with your children, not want to take care of them or even be interested, don't have kids...and if you ignore this advice, don't try to salve your troubled conscence by doing a lazy, sorry, boneheaded job of being in their life when others are taking better care of, and love them infinately more than you can even comprehend.

AMEN