Where am I going?

As easy as Nathan is in just about every way; easy to talk to, easy to ask for help, easy to trust...I'm really struggling with Gabriel. He's not very truthful, he tends to ignore me rather than put forth any effort to follow the rules and guidelines in our house, and worst of all, he hates me because I'm not his mom.

Goodness knows I try to be patient and understanding and loving and sympathetic...but at what point does he get off his butt and contribute to our family?...Why does he think that everyone else has to play nice, but that he's exempt?

I recently explained that if he can't play nice, he'll get benched, and not get to play at all. I don't want to alienate him, but he's made me question my sanity on many occasions, and right now I'm all out of ideas! Why doesn't he want to understand that you don't have to be blood to be family?...everyone else gets it. He's outraged with me because I expect from him the same effort and to uphold the same standards as the rest of the kids...it makes me feel like the meanest monster mommy ever!

I hope he grows out of it soon, or I'm really going to build a dungeon in the crawl space to lock myself away from him!..for his own safety of course!