I have a question...but I need to explain first
Still having a horrible time with Gabriel. I try, I really do. I talk to him, I hum and sing when I'm mad so that I don't yell. Instead of hunting him down and insisting he follow through with whatever he's left undone, I quickly and quietly take care of it to avoid a confrontation. (Much to the annoyance of all the other kids who have to do their own work).
He told me yesterday that he'd just given his mom his email address, I tried to talk to him about it, then I found this morning that he gave it to her a week ago...this explains a lot of his misbehavior towards me this past week...but Reed had helped him conceal this from me. Knowing how he treats me when he has contact with his mom, Reed didn't put the two things together, and I've been through hell and back more than I care to think about.
I want to keep him safe from her. The emotional damage is too great, and it confuses him so much, all this mess of hers, I feel very justified in sticking to the state guidelines and the judges ruling in parent-time that she chose to abandon. (She moved out of state, sent us a text after the fact, that's the measure of her devotion to her children. She's seen them once in the last year). She doesn't care at all that her talking to him builds his hopes, then when she fails him, which she has yet NOT TO DO, he spirals and vents his hurt and rage at me.
This said, my question is...
If I decide to do some extreme shopping for myself, should I go for the blue or the red dress?
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2 comments:
Go red all the way. Or hey, why not both? Sounds like you totally deserve it!
Big, huge hugs!!!
Both!
Hang in there. He sounds a lot like my boys right now. They act out a lot for me to test me and see if I still love them. You are the stable mother in his life and it sounds like, by your constancy, you are doing the right thing. Poor Gabe. Its hard to explain the dark side of agency to those whose only primal knowledge is that their parents should love them and put them first. Someday he will realize that that is exactly what his "parents" did. He is lucky to have you.
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