Tuesday, March 9, 2010

The road or path to happiness

So I went ahead and had a really hard talk with Gabe last night. Told him how precious he is to me, how much I love him, and how his behavior towards me is breaking my heart. (I now know why my mom walked on egg shells through my teenage years, careful not to 'set Karen off').

We cried, he was a lot upset, and this morning he was the smilingest, sweetest Gabriel I've ever seen. Not naive enough to assume that everything is fixed, knowing that there will be many ups and downs to come, I am grateful for this morning of peace!

I explained how everything in his life will be directly affected by his attitude. His decision to sit and be miserable, or to lift his head and see what goodness is available to him will make him either an angry, miserable child, or give him the opportunity to feel joy and love.

I also told him I'm sorry he's been so hurt by his mom. I'm guessing this part was long over-due, but I didn't want to make him feel like he had to defend her. I explained that it was her choice to leave. Where she is now and her state of mind now are also her choice, and yes it's hard, and hurts, but the rage he feels toward her because of her neglect won't go away by taking it out on me. Careful in my wording to not lay blame, to impress upon him that his determination is what will be the deciding factor, I told him how sorry I am that she hurt him, how much I love him, and how I want him to have true happiness.

I sometimes wonder if all the years of struggle with Ryan were preparation to be able to help Gabe. We'll both of us live through his teenage years, and I will continue to encourage him to strive for a positive attitude...and if you have a minute in your prayers, I'd consider it a great work if everyone could offer up a prayer for my Gabey, that he can find peace, and know that he's not at fault for how things turned out with his biological mother.

Thanks for letting me rant and vent!

2 comments:

Unknown said...

I'm so glad that you guys were able to sit down and have a heart to heart talk. I hope that in the long run things will get much, much better. So far, it sounds like he's trying and that's what's important. He knows you love him, and that's even more important. :) You're an awesome mom.

CKW said...

You're such a good mama...