I love you more than my luggage...

...And I've got a lot of luggage! Let's not confuse luggage and baggage. the difference?...my luggage is used to get me where I'm going. I load it with what I need, what is important, the things that will help me function and the things that I love.

Baggage...every memory of hurt, the shadows and whispers of horrible things I've said and done or that have been said or done to me. The ones that make my heart race and my breathing become irregular...the rotten things I wish I could go back and take back, or run from and avoid all together.

How to choose which of these you'll carry?...The atonement. That glorious act of love that allows me, (and everyone else) to pick the very best luggage, and abandon my baggage altogether.

...I think I'm going to start carrying a picture of the Savior in my wallet with my pictures of my kids...

...Reed, I've done it again!

As the first term of this school year draws to an end, I find myself more frustrated, more threatening, more psychotic than ever before. The reason?...My 13 and 14 year old are really mastering pushing my buttons, getting under my skin, and making my teeth itch! (Every assurance from my mother and Reed does nothing to calm me. I know they're supposed to be idiots, they're teenage boys, but they're my idiots, and I want them to be more collected, more devoted to their education, and completely devoted to being obedient).

More than I'd like to admit, I find myself running to my room for 'time-out' and soaking in the tub until I look like a lobster tail and the tears have quit cascading. They are wonderful boys. I love them dearly and would detest life without them. I'll give you an example of my personal hell...

Me: Hey, I got an e-mail from your (French, History, English, Spanish, PE) teacher this morning saying that you haven't turned in your project. (Pick a topic. Human impact, personal introductory, data on beans that should have been growing for 6 weeks like I told you but that you only started soaking three days ago). The term is almost over and if the assignment isn't turned in you'll get a failing grade. Since I've reminded you of this assignment every day for months at least once, I'd like to know why you haven't turned it in.

Gabe or Nate: I forgot and it isn't done. or: I did it at school and it's already turned in. or: My teacher said I don't have to do it, because all my other work is perfect. (The excuses go on).

Me: Well, whether it's in your locker, under your bed, or still swimming around between your ears, you don't get a passing grade unless it's done on time and turned in completed the way your teacher advised that it be done. Please show me how much you've got.

G & N: (This part varies from allergies to ink, to mind cleansing alien abduction). Well, I started it, but I wasn't able to finish. And I'm too busy to get to it now.

Me: Until this assignment is graded and handed back you have no life, so you're not too busy. Show me what you've done.

This is the part where I find their outlines, stick them to a book or a computer, and despite their crying and surety that I am the worst mom ever, make them do the work. The last minute scramble makes me so crazy. I never considered not doing my work. Am I raising them to be so lazy that they really believe there won't be consequences?...That said, many tears, some threats, a lot of 'poor me', a missed Halloween carnival and being grounded from everything but eating and breathing, we're almost caught up.

...And then Reed comes home from work to find me with a wild look in my eyes and the kids quietly avoiding me in fear that I'll find something else they've 'forgotten' to do. "What have you done to your mother?" he asks.
"Mom yelled and swore and told us that if we did our work well and quickly that maybe, just maybe she'll let us live through the night."

I've said it before, and so have the kids...Worst mom ever!...but I believe in forgiveness, and one day when they're ready to admit that they're acting like little savages, or 3 year old girls, I'll be ready to tell them I'm sorry for being crazy, but they really are asking for it!

Lord Manning of Copper Hills

Big news for our family. I don't know if I remembered to tell anyone that we moved, but we did. To Heber and we love it. (Reed doesn't mind the commute, and I can still see my big brother Richard almost every day, which is vital since he is my anchor to reality...my serene and strong example of unconditional love, patience, kindness and understanding...in short, he keeps me sane)!

Conditions of our move: Only a 20 gallon aquarium, so we need to down size. No dogs or cats, so we had to find our doggy a new home. No trampolines, so ours has moved into storage in the garage.

These are all things I can learn to live with. (Laying in the sun on the trampoline will be very missed. My bathing suit collection will go to waste and I'm sure I'll be lazy about my stomach control now that It'll never see the light of day).

Manny...the AKC knows him as Lord Manning of Copper Hills...has gone to live with my good friend Kimmie and her family. Her husband liked him immediately, so did her daughters. (After some initial panic that one of them might be very allergic to him, turned out she had pneumonia, it wasn't the dog at all, they are happy with him). He is the first dog that hasn't tried to eat their Pomeranian and they love that. (Eli, giant sweet heart of a man, like Reed but Navajo, not German, wants to get rid of the little dog now and just have Manny. Bless them all, Manny is happy)!

Manny...it turned out to be a lot harder to give him up than I anticipated. I cried just as hard as when I had to have my Schindler (my first and favorite Rottweiler) put to sleep. Kimmie smiles at my pathetic effort not to tear up when I visit. I miss him. I miss him 'protecting' me from scary cartoon animals on tv. (You've never seen Brother Bear or Over the Hedge until you've seen it with a pug jumping and growling ferociously at the tv. He is also very vocal about animal planet). I miss him climbing under the covers at night and snuggling up against my back to keep watch. I miss him greeting the kids when they return home from school, and how he runs in circles in the yard, barking at the sky, making sure the aliens know not to land in our yard. (Because only dogs can see the real ones).

The kids did a lot better than I'd anticipated. Crystal, of course, was dramatic and over did it, until I reminded her that she didn't have an audience so she could stop or stay in her room...not another peep from her. The boys were sad, some tears, but they all cheered up when Kimmie told them they can visit whenever they want.

Is there something broken in me that I can get so worked up over my dog, but I look forward to the bus coming in the morning for my kids?...maybe I missed my calling. Perhaps I'd have been a bigger success rescuing critters rather than butting heads with 14 and 13 year old boys.

Maybe if I'd trained my kids as well as the dogs...

Kids were away

Last weekend all 6 kids were gone. First time since February that's happened, but for a good reason. (Not with other mom and other dad). They were at Reeds parents. We were moving!!!
All the way to Heber. We had Elders Quarum help, so I sent the kids away to be not under my feet!
So now the storage unit is empty, the garage full, and slowly full boxes are making their way inside then returning to the garage empty!
Everything is working out nicely, our only complaint is we couldn't keep the dog. ( A good friend has him and is loving him for me now).
So much is done, still so much to do!
Happy and crazy CAN be the same thing, sometimes!

The most wonderful time of the year!

Well school has started and aside from a few tears the second day from Matthew, it's going great! For the first time in months I'm not getting peppered with scalding then icy water from the kids using every faucet in the house while I'm in the shower!



The breakdown...

Nathan is in high school. 9th grade

Gabriel in middle school. 8th grade

Darrian and Michael at the intermediate school. 5th grade (and in the same home room)!

Crystal is in 2nd grade

Matthew is in 1st grade



Four different schools, two different buses, and this year...instead of 1 instrument we've got one on guitar, one violin, two clarinets and two recorders, one piano. (The two little ones haven't started an instrument yet, and Darrian wanted to try cello, but I couldn't figure out how he'd get it to and from school on the bus...so he decided to try clarinet)....I should not that for now I'm counting one of my nieces as my own, and she's on violin. Nathan gave it up for now, and she really wanted to try...she's my 3rd fifth grader, but she is in a different home room, although she's on the same bus...



I need a personal assistant to keep track of all the schedules, but controlled chaos seems to be the norm with us so a little confusion isn't a bad thing. So they're busy learning and I'm catching up on laundry! Usually I mourn the beginning of the school year, this year I anticipated it joyfully...my kids are growing to quickly, and I'm so happy to have 5 days a week with much structured direction to keep them busy and me from going crazy!

I'm terribly sorry that I'm so negligent about keeping updated. Begging your forgiveness, and assuming I'll get it, I really am here an will write...when time allows.


I thought the school year kept me hopping, but summer is proving to be a real workout. If raised pulse and rapid breathing kept me fit, I'd be enjoying optimal health right now...


Scout Camp: Jordanelle Reservoir


With the river running fast and deep, the camp site right next to it, Reed ventured out over night with all the 12 and older scouts from our area. ...including Gabriel. Saturday morning, packing up, Gabe is gone. Reed and one of the other leaders start looking. Nearly an hour later when their eyes are wild with panic, Reed now checking every debris spot in the river, the other leader ready to call an all out search and worried about news coverage, guess who meanders into camp?...really, guess.


Yup, it was Gabe. He'd gone to help a friend from another district take down his tent...and forgot to tell anyone where he was going. Much relief felt by all, except Gabe who go to hear the "you'd better be glad that I haven't already called Karen. She'd have been up here with atv's and pedophile sniffing dogs and you know how miserable we all are when mom's scared...the wild eyes and shrill screeching...we can all live without that particular stress"...(Nathan had the good sense to be in Yellowstone instead of with the scouts, so he missed all the 'excitement').



Just a few weeks later, Jeremiah Johnson Day Camp in Spanish Fork, me and 13 bear scouts.

Right after lunch, head count and face check, I've got 11 familiar boys and 2 strangers. I leave my 11 with another leader and grab 2 other moms to help search. We debate ten all head off in different directions. I utter a desperate prayer as I approach the river, run across the foot bridge, and discover the two youngsters happily panning for 'gold' in a trough of water.

After talking with them about the rules and the dangers of wandering away from the group I praised them for staying with their buddy. (I'm a big fan of the buddy system). This was on the walk back to the meeting point with the other searchers.

Later that day when another troop had a missing boy, and the search was more involved because the boy wasn't spotted immediately, I pointed out t my boys how serious all the leaders looked, and how scared it makes us when we don't know exactly where our scouts are.

The day ended with me disarming a youngster of his magnifying glass during the flag ceremony when he set fire to some papers and was totally astonished that it really worked. (It was one of my earlier runaways, so I invited him to leave it home from now on and to review our safety rules with his dad). The drive home was noisy and wiggly with 7 of the 13 in my car. I felt I had earned a shower and a nap, it was a good day!

More Tickle your funny bone

Looking out her kitchen window, a mother saw her son playing church with the cat. He preached at the resting beast, and she smiled to herself, then went on with her day.

A little later she heard the cat yowling and ran to see what was wrong, only to find her son trying to baptize the cat in a tub full of water.

She hollered to her son, "Don't do that, the cat's afraid of water!"

He replied, "He should have thought of that before he joined my church!"

On the drive to a play date, a daughter was asking her mother endless questions: "How old are you? How much do you weigh? Why did you and dad get divorced?" The mother explained that some questions aren't nice to ask, and some things aren't the business of little girls.

Once the mother was out of earshot at the playdate, the girl told her friend that she didn't know anything about her mother, and she wanted answers to her questions. Her friend told her to look at her mothers drivers license, that they were report cards for grown-ups, and had all the important information.

A few days later the girl informed her mother that she knew how old she was. "Oh yeah?" said mom. "Yes, you're 32, and you weigh 140 pounds. And I know why dad divorced you." Shocked and at a loss for words, mom said, "Really, why's that?" To which her daughter replied, "Because you got an F in sex."

Blonde Joke
On a flight from Pittsburgh to Los Angelos, a beautiful blonde woman left her seat in coach, walked into first class, found herself a seat and settled in. The flight attendant asked her to return to her seat, and she refused. "I am beautiful, and deserve to be given special treatment. I'm staying here," she said. The attendant went to get someone else to try and manage this woman.

After several failed attempts to return her to her seat, one of the attendants went to the cockpit and explained to the pilots what was going on. One of the pilots said, "My wife is blonde. Let me handle this." He then went to where the woman was sitting, bent down and said something quietly to her, and she quickly and politely got to her feet and returned to coach.

Amazed, the attendants demanded to know what he'd told her. He grinned and said, "I speak blonde. I told her that first class wasn't going to Los Angelos."

Soccer mom to the rescue!

Today was quiet and uneventful, until the kids started coming home from school. Picked 4 up at the elementary school, drove 1 to a friends house, back home to get Crystal ready 4 dance...dropped another off at a friends house on my way to deliver Crystal to dance then raced home to get Darrian ready for soccer practice...Matthew went with me to Darrys practice, halfway through I drove to pick up Nathan from his friends house then raced to pick Gabriel up from his friends house...(his friend had invited a female friend over as well, Gabe and I had a 'discussion' about that on our way back to the soccer field)...

...made me feel all nostalgic about the last term of Michael and Darrians kindergarten year...4 school aged kids in 2 different schools. In the morning I drove Gabriel and Darrian to their school, and Nathan to his...then went to pick Darrian up from a.m. kindergarten...fed kids in the car on our way to drop Michael at the other school for p.m. kindergarten. Matthew and Crystal and I spent so much time in the car...it was like a second home...then the school day ended with picking Gabe up from one school in the middle of town, and jetting to the north end of town to meet Nathan and Michaels bus. We had more happy meals that term than should be allowed by law...

...then we moved and the kids were all in the same school at the same time and it was only blocks away...even in the worst weather I 'let' them walk...and crazy was no longer a state-of-being!..so when did I forget about calm and let them take lessons and play sports and set myself to breaking speed records in my big white battle wagon?

Mom To The Rescue!!!

Remember when my boys were tiny and angelic and I was still bigger than they were?...well I'm having massive denial that they're growing so quickly. Nathan is officially taller than I am, and Gabriel will outgrow me this year. Darrian and Michael are both big enough now that they are difficult to lift, and although I can still throw Matthew or CrystalLynn over my shoulder, they've let me know that it's not always very dignified. "Mom, people are looking at us, put me down!"

Where was I going with this?...I remember a dear friend stepping on a toothpick and having her dad try to remove it from the sole of her foot with pliers...suddenly I find that my two oldest are mature enough for this kind of first aid. I stepped down on a needle point needle in my bedroom, it went clear into my heel!...Ouch!..."Nate, Gabe, run and grab the needle nose pliers from the drawer in the kitchen and bring a bottle of rubbing alcohol and some cotton."

"What do you need this for?" upon their return. "Gabe, you hold my leg down, Nate, brace my ankle so my foot doesn't run away when I start pulling." No tears, no holding of breath, just a robust, "Mom that is so gross!" Everyone lived, but now there are 2 smart Alec's that tease me about trying to stitch my own foot...trying and failing miserably!...Isn't that why we have children?...to teach us humility or to improve our sense of humor?...

Tickle your Funny Bone

The boys are having a joke telling marathon...I thought I would share...

Nathan: The captain of a ship in the royal navy was charged with retrieving his queens treasure from a secret location. He'd have to sail through pirate infested waters and he must not be captured or sunk. The first sighting of a pirate ship, the captain told the first mate to get his red coat. After a long hard battle, they escaped with many men wounded. The captain asked the first mate to clean and put away the red coat.

Later in the voyage they were seen by two pirate ships, again the captain ordered the first mate to get his red coat. Following a fierce and bloody battle the captain asked the first mate to return the red coat to his cabin. The first mate asked the captain why he always fought in his red coat, the captain replied that it was so the sailors wouldn't despair when they saw the captain bleeding from battle wounds.

Just then the signal was given that there were ships on the horizon. The captain looked through his spy glass and counted at least ten ships. He turned to his first mate and said, "Give the order to prepare for battle, and bring me my brown pants!"

Gabriel: If there were no such thing as grass, all the cows would die, and that would be an udder disaster.

Reed: How do you catch a polar bear? You go into the middle of a frozen lake or pond, and drill a hole in the ice. You put frozen peas all around the hole. Then, when the bear comes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.

Michael: Knock knock...who's there?...Alison...Alison who?...Alison to you after you listen to me.

.........There are more, but I can't keep up with them all!

Much love and I promise more later!

March?...Already?!

February went by so quickly...and now March is progressing...the trouble with this?...Nathan turns 14 on the 8th, and I'm absolutely baffled and astounded that so much time has passed!

Although he doesn't yet weigh as much as I do, he's suddenly taller than me...is that allowed?
He starts seminary and high school next year...who authorized this?

This is the first school year that he's cared about clothes and shoes...he has very definite opinions about what he doesn't want, and I get to guess what is acceptable. He does his hair, his curls have to be a certain way...he has a preference for certain shampoos and conditioners...he finally understands how important his grades are and works to find a healthy balance between school, scouts, church, friends and exercise.

I've been asked frequently if I feel old having a teenager...NO!!! I feel horribly inadequate, age wise, to have a 14-year-old. What's worse is that in May Gabriel will be 13 and there will be two of them! By the time Nathan is 18 there will be 4 of them...I will be more and more outnumbered and I still don't recall anyone asking permission for the growth of these children.

Warning signs of unauthorized growth:

Pants that fit last week are now floods.
We get to be excited about armpit hair.
Voices crack and girls aren't icky any more.
History and Discovery chanel really are as cool as mom's been saying for years.
Naps are cool again.
Girls aren't icky any more.
Clean teeth and breath are very important. (Mom and the dentist were right).
Helping with everyday things isn't punishment.
Girls aren't icky anymore!!!

I'm not sure how, or when, but they're growing into awesome young men, I'm astounded at how smart they are, how big they are, and how I look at them expecting that they'll still be my sweet little guys only to find that they're maturing and much closer to driving and dating than I'm comfortable with!

I'm ready for the sweet embrace of senility and the ultimate frozen yogurt!

Worker Bees

Busy. A complete and accurate description of my current state of life!

Third term has started and the kids are prematurely excited for summer vacation.

We're grateful for the break in snow shoveling, though we don't expect it to last.

The boys are happy that they get to miss Klondike camp this year...last year they stayed in heated yurts...not thrilled about trying unheated tents this year.

Crystal's dance recital was great. Much shorter this time, good for all of the parents who can't sit still.

Richard and I are looking for good books to read. We're trying A Series Of Unfortunate Events. So far we like it...it was highly recommended by the 4 big boys.

Reed's working and commuting and commuting and working.

Me?...I have a table full of homework waiting to be sorted and corrected, and a mountain of laundry patiently waiting to be folded.

My name is Karen but mostly I answer to mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, momma, momma, momma, momma, momma, momma, momma, momma, momma, momma, momma, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy!

Santas Magic Snowball

The boys have tried and tried to catch a glimpse of various holiday and special occasion characters. Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy (or Tooth Master), have all been waited for. No pictures or captures have ever resulted, but the boys swear to a very close call with Santa...

...Apparently, if you wait up to catch Santa in the act of delivering presents, and he can't wait any longer for sleep to overtake you...or you wake while he's already down the chimney...he carries with him a magic snowball that contains sparkling sleep enhanced ice crystals. Santa, seeing all and having already checked on behavior, takes aim and when the magical snow ball hits you in the face, you're suddenly asleep.

When you wake in the morning you have memories of the sound of bells jingling, but all you remember seeing is a snowball flying straight at your face! (The boys have decided that it has superior "stay on target" power...because Santa throws it before you can see him and it must be able to take corners and change directions without interference).

Magic snowballs, Easter Bunny's with Ninja stealth, Tooth Fairies with colored tutu's or manly togas...boys are so weird!

Happy 2009

Good Gravy!

With all the running around the holiday season provides for us...taking kids to other mom and other dad, running to pick them up at the drop of someone else's hat, shopping and celebrating and santa, Ward Christmas breakfasts and sledding...I thought I might skip Christmas for the time being, and enlighten everyone about how we celebrated New Years. (Which I am convinced is only a holiday because the kids need another excuse to stay awake)...So here goes!

My rotten little pug, Manny (Full name: Lord Manning of Copper Hills) ate a whole pound of holiday M & M's. Thrilled at this discovery, I got to induce vomiting. (Not to bad, but the results were horrible). Four hours of carpet scrubbing later, he was done and I was exhausted. (No ill effects. Now that I know how to make them urp I will never lose another dog to chocolate poisoning).

Reed picked up 3 of our kids on his way home from work, more than happy that he missed the chocolate adventure. Expecting my little brother and his family for dinner, we readied the kids and the house.

When the cousins arrived we had the usual chaos of getting everyone in and dry and warm, and somehow someone with their arms full tripped over a toddler and fell against the front door, which slammed open hard, and the doorknob went right through the front of our 55 gallon aquarium. Water everywhere. Everyone scrambled to catch water, fish, grab towels, the wet dry vacuum and get the rugs off the floor.

Hours later, with the worst of it cleaned up, and our fish all safely deposited in my sister's aquarium in Heber, every muscle in my torso, my arms, my shoulders...on fire! The pain was so incredible that I threw up all night. (Didn't pass out once! I was rather pleased with myself about that).

...In closing I've decided I don't like fish, chocolate, or New Years Eve. I resent mess and unplanned indoor pools. Next year, I fully intend to spend this particular holiday safely encompassed in the comforter on my bed.

Happy New Year!!!!