Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Tickle your Funny Bone

The boys are having a joke telling marathon...I thought I would share...

Nathan: The captain of a ship in the royal navy was charged with retrieving his queens treasure from a secret location. He'd have to sail through pirate infested waters and he must not be captured or sunk. The first sighting of a pirate ship, the captain told the first mate to get his red coat. After a long hard battle, they escaped with many men wounded. The captain asked the first mate to clean and put away the red coat.

Later in the voyage they were seen by two pirate ships, again the captain ordered the first mate to get his red coat. Following a fierce and bloody battle the captain asked the first mate to return the red coat to his cabin. The first mate asked the captain why he always fought in his red coat, the captain replied that it was so the sailors wouldn't despair when they saw the captain bleeding from battle wounds.

Just then the signal was given that there were ships on the horizon. The captain looked through his spy glass and counted at least ten ships. He turned to his first mate and said, "Give the order to prepare for battle, and bring me my brown pants!"

Gabriel: If there were no such thing as grass, all the cows would die, and that would be an udder disaster.

Reed: How do you catch a polar bear? You go into the middle of a frozen lake or pond, and drill a hole in the ice. You put frozen peas all around the hole. Then, when the bear comes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.

Michael: Knock knock...who's there?...Alison...Alison who?...Alison to you after you listen to me.

.........There are more, but I can't keep up with them all!

Much love and I promise more later!

3 comments:

Unknown said...

hahahahaha. Too funny.

CKW said...

A Pirate goes into a bar with a steering wheel (helm? Whatever it's called) down the front of his pants and the bartender, confused, asks him why it is there. The pirate glares at him and says "Yaar! It's driving me nuts!"
Get it?! I hate to say but that is the only joke I know and may not be appropriate for children.

Bertha Broadbottom said...

One of our favorites! Around here if "driving me nuts" is used in any context, someone always has to add, "Yaar!"