More Tickle your funny bone

Looking out her kitchen window, a mother saw her son playing church with the cat. He preached at the resting beast, and she smiled to herself, then went on with her day.

A little later she heard the cat yowling and ran to see what was wrong, only to find her son trying to baptize the cat in a tub full of water.

She hollered to her son, "Don't do that, the cat's afraid of water!"

He replied, "He should have thought of that before he joined my church!"

On the drive to a play date, a daughter was asking her mother endless questions: "How old are you? How much do you weigh? Why did you and dad get divorced?" The mother explained that some questions aren't nice to ask, and some things aren't the business of little girls.

Once the mother was out of earshot at the playdate, the girl told her friend that she didn't know anything about her mother, and she wanted answers to her questions. Her friend told her to look at her mothers drivers license, that they were report cards for grown-ups, and had all the important information.

A few days later the girl informed her mother that she knew how old she was. "Oh yeah?" said mom. "Yes, you're 32, and you weigh 140 pounds. And I know why dad divorced you." Shocked and at a loss for words, mom said, "Really, why's that?" To which her daughter replied, "Because you got an F in sex."

Blonde Joke
On a flight from Pittsburgh to Los Angelos, a beautiful blonde woman left her seat in coach, walked into first class, found herself a seat and settled in. The flight attendant asked her to return to her seat, and she refused. "I am beautiful, and deserve to be given special treatment. I'm staying here," she said. The attendant went to get someone else to try and manage this woman.

After several failed attempts to return her to her seat, one of the attendants went to the cockpit and explained to the pilots what was going on. One of the pilots said, "My wife is blonde. Let me handle this." He then went to where the woman was sitting, bent down and said something quietly to her, and she quickly and politely got to her feet and returned to coach.

Amazed, the attendants demanded to know what he'd told her. He grinned and said, "I speak blonde. I told her that first class wasn't going to Los Angelos."