I'm terribly sorry that I'm so negligent about keeping updated. Begging your forgiveness, and assuming I'll get it, I really am here an will write...when time allows.
I thought the school year kept me hopping, but summer is proving to be a real workout. If raised pulse and rapid breathing kept me fit, I'd be enjoying optimal health right now...
Scout Camp: Jordanelle Reservoir
With the river running fast and deep, the camp site right next to it, Reed ventured out over night with all the 12 and older scouts from our area. ...including Gabriel. Saturday morning, packing up, Gabe is gone. Reed and one of the other leaders start looking. Nearly an hour later when their eyes are wild with panic, Reed now checking every debris spot in the river, the other leader ready to call an all out search and worried about news coverage, guess who meanders into camp?...really, guess.
Yup, it was Gabe. He'd gone to help a friend from another district take down his tent...and forgot to tell anyone where he was going. Much relief felt by all, except Gabe who go to hear the "you'd better be glad that I haven't already called Karen. She'd have been up here with atv's and pedophile sniffing dogs and you know how miserable we all are when mom's scared...the wild eyes and shrill screeching...we can all live without that particular stress"...(Nathan had the good sense to be in Yellowstone instead of with the scouts, so he missed all the 'excitement').
Just a few weeks later, Jeremiah Johnson Day Camp in Spanish Fork, me and 13 bear scouts.
Right after lunch, head count and face check, I've got 11 familiar boys and 2 strangers. I leave my 11 with another leader and grab 2 other moms to help search. We debate ten all head off in different directions. I utter a desperate prayer as I approach the river, run across the foot bridge, and discover the two youngsters happily panning for 'gold' in a trough of water.
After talking with them about the rules and the dangers of wandering away from the group I praised them for staying with their buddy. (I'm a big fan of the buddy system). This was on the walk back to the meeting point with the other searchers.
Later that day when another troop had a missing boy, and the search was more involved because the boy wasn't spotted immediately, I pointed out t my boys how serious all the leaders looked, and how scared it makes us when we don't know exactly where our scouts are.
The day ended with me disarming a youngster of his magnifying glass during the flag ceremony when he set fire to some papers and was totally astonished that it really worked. (It was one of my earlier runaways, so I invited him to leave it home from now on and to review our safety rules with his dad). The drive home was noisy and wiggly with 7 of the 13 in my car. I felt I had earned a shower and a nap, it was a good day!
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Monday, April 27, 2009
More Tickle your funny bone
Looking out her kitchen window, a mother saw her son playing church with the cat. He preached at the resting beast, and she smiled to herself, then went on with her day.
A little later she heard the cat yowling and ran to see what was wrong, only to find her son trying to baptize the cat in a tub full of water.
She hollered to her son, "Don't do that, the cat's afraid of water!"
He replied, "He should have thought of that before he joined my church!"
On the drive to a play date, a daughter was asking her mother endless questions: "How old are you? How much do you weigh? Why did you and dad get divorced?" The mother explained that some questions aren't nice to ask, and some things aren't the business of little girls.
Once the mother was out of earshot at the playdate, the girl told her friend that she didn't know anything about her mother, and she wanted answers to her questions. Her friend told her to look at her mothers drivers license, that they were report cards for grown-ups, and had all the important information.
A few days later the girl informed her mother that she knew how old she was. "Oh yeah?" said mom. "Yes, you're 32, and you weigh 140 pounds. And I know why dad divorced you." Shocked and at a loss for words, mom said, "Really, why's that?" To which her daughter replied, "Because you got an F in sex."
Blonde Joke
On a flight from Pittsburgh to Los Angelos, a beautiful blonde woman left her seat in coach, walked into first class, found herself a seat and settled in. The flight attendant asked her to return to her seat, and she refused. "I am beautiful, and deserve to be given special treatment. I'm staying here," she said. The attendant went to get someone else to try and manage this woman.
After several failed attempts to return her to her seat, one of the attendants went to the cockpit and explained to the pilots what was going on. One of the pilots said, "My wife is blonde. Let me handle this." He then went to where the woman was sitting, bent down and said something quietly to her, and she quickly and politely got to her feet and returned to coach.
Amazed, the attendants demanded to know what he'd told her. He grinned and said, "I speak blonde. I told her that first class wasn't going to Los Angelos."
A little later she heard the cat yowling and ran to see what was wrong, only to find her son trying to baptize the cat in a tub full of water.
She hollered to her son, "Don't do that, the cat's afraid of water!"
He replied, "He should have thought of that before he joined my church!"
On the drive to a play date, a daughter was asking her mother endless questions: "How old are you? How much do you weigh? Why did you and dad get divorced?" The mother explained that some questions aren't nice to ask, and some things aren't the business of little girls.
Once the mother was out of earshot at the playdate, the girl told her friend that she didn't know anything about her mother, and she wanted answers to her questions. Her friend told her to look at her mothers drivers license, that they were report cards for grown-ups, and had all the important information.
A few days later the girl informed her mother that she knew how old she was. "Oh yeah?" said mom. "Yes, you're 32, and you weigh 140 pounds. And I know why dad divorced you." Shocked and at a loss for words, mom said, "Really, why's that?" To which her daughter replied, "Because you got an F in sex."
Blonde Joke
On a flight from Pittsburgh to Los Angelos, a beautiful blonde woman left her seat in coach, walked into first class, found herself a seat and settled in. The flight attendant asked her to return to her seat, and she refused. "I am beautiful, and deserve to be given special treatment. I'm staying here," she said. The attendant went to get someone else to try and manage this woman.
After several failed attempts to return her to her seat, one of the attendants went to the cockpit and explained to the pilots what was going on. One of the pilots said, "My wife is blonde. Let me handle this." He then went to where the woman was sitting, bent down and said something quietly to her, and she quickly and politely got to her feet and returned to coach.
Amazed, the attendants demanded to know what he'd told her. He grinned and said, "I speak blonde. I told her that first class wasn't going to Los Angelos."
Monday, April 20, 2009
Soccer mom to the rescue!
Today was quiet and uneventful, until the kids started coming home from school. Picked 4 up at the elementary school, drove 1 to a friends house, back home to get Crystal ready 4 dance...dropped another off at a friends house on my way to deliver Crystal to dance then raced home to get Darrian ready for soccer practice...Matthew went with me to Darrys practice, halfway through I drove to pick up Nathan from his friends house then raced to pick Gabriel up from his friends house...(his friend had invited a female friend over as well, Gabe and I had a 'discussion' about that on our way back to the soccer field)...
...made me feel all nostalgic about the last term of Michael and Darrians kindergarten year...4 school aged kids in 2 different schools. In the morning I drove Gabriel and Darrian to their school, and Nathan to his...then went to pick Darrian up from a.m. kindergarten...fed kids in the car on our way to drop Michael at the other school for p.m. kindergarten. Matthew and Crystal and I spent so much time in the car...it was like a second home...then the school day ended with picking Gabe up from one school in the middle of town, and jetting to the north end of town to meet Nathan and Michaels bus. We had more happy meals that term than should be allowed by law...
...then we moved and the kids were all in the same school at the same time and it was only blocks away...even in the worst weather I 'let' them walk...and crazy was no longer a state-of-being!..so when did I forget about calm and let them take lessons and play sports and set myself to breaking speed records in my big white battle wagon?
...made me feel all nostalgic about the last term of Michael and Darrians kindergarten year...4 school aged kids in 2 different schools. In the morning I drove Gabriel and Darrian to their school, and Nathan to his...then went to pick Darrian up from a.m. kindergarten...fed kids in the car on our way to drop Michael at the other school for p.m. kindergarten. Matthew and Crystal and I spent so much time in the car...it was like a second home...then the school day ended with picking Gabe up from one school in the middle of town, and jetting to the north end of town to meet Nathan and Michaels bus. We had more happy meals that term than should be allowed by law...
...then we moved and the kids were all in the same school at the same time and it was only blocks away...even in the worst weather I 'let' them walk...and crazy was no longer a state-of-being!..so when did I forget about calm and let them take lessons and play sports and set myself to breaking speed records in my big white battle wagon?
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Mom To The Rescue!!!
Remember when my boys were tiny and angelic and I was still bigger than they were?...well I'm having massive denial that they're growing so quickly. Nathan is officially taller than I am, and Gabriel will outgrow me this year. Darrian and Michael are both big enough now that they are difficult to lift, and although I can still throw Matthew or CrystalLynn over my shoulder, they've let me know that it's not always very dignified. "Mom, people are looking at us, put me down!"
Where was I going with this?...I remember a dear friend stepping on a toothpick and having her dad try to remove it from the sole of her foot with pliers...suddenly I find that my two oldest are mature enough for this kind of first aid. I stepped down on a needle point needle in my bedroom, it went clear into my heel!...Ouch!..."Nate, Gabe, run and grab the needle nose pliers from the drawer in the kitchen and bring a bottle of rubbing alcohol and some cotton."
"What do you need this for?" upon their return. "Gabe, you hold my leg down, Nate, brace my ankle so my foot doesn't run away when I start pulling." No tears, no holding of breath, just a robust, "Mom that is so gross!" Everyone lived, but now there are 2 smart Alec's that tease me about trying to stitch my own foot...trying and failing miserably!...Isn't that why we have children?...to teach us humility or to improve our sense of humor?...
Where was I going with this?...I remember a dear friend stepping on a toothpick and having her dad try to remove it from the sole of her foot with pliers...suddenly I find that my two oldest are mature enough for this kind of first aid. I stepped down on a needle point needle in my bedroom, it went clear into my heel!...Ouch!..."Nate, Gabe, run and grab the needle nose pliers from the drawer in the kitchen and bring a bottle of rubbing alcohol and some cotton."
"What do you need this for?" upon their return. "Gabe, you hold my leg down, Nate, brace my ankle so my foot doesn't run away when I start pulling." No tears, no holding of breath, just a robust, "Mom that is so gross!" Everyone lived, but now there are 2 smart Alec's that tease me about trying to stitch my own foot...trying and failing miserably!...Isn't that why we have children?...to teach us humility or to improve our sense of humor?...
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Tickle your Funny Bone
The boys are having a joke telling marathon...I thought I would share...
Nathan: The captain of a ship in the royal navy was charged with retrieving his queens treasure from a secret location. He'd have to sail through pirate infested waters and he must not be captured or sunk. The first sighting of a pirate ship, the captain told the first mate to get his red coat. After a long hard battle, they escaped with many men wounded. The captain asked the first mate to clean and put away the red coat.
Later in the voyage they were seen by two pirate ships, again the captain ordered the first mate to get his red coat. Following a fierce and bloody battle the captain asked the first mate to return the red coat to his cabin. The first mate asked the captain why he always fought in his red coat, the captain replied that it was so the sailors wouldn't despair when they saw the captain bleeding from battle wounds.
Just then the signal was given that there were ships on the horizon. The captain looked through his spy glass and counted at least ten ships. He turned to his first mate and said, "Give the order to prepare for battle, and bring me my brown pants!"
Gabriel: If there were no such thing as grass, all the cows would die, and that would be an udder disaster.
Reed: How do you catch a polar bear? You go into the middle of a frozen lake or pond, and drill a hole in the ice. You put frozen peas all around the hole. Then, when the bear comes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.
Michael: Knock knock...who's there?...Alison...Alison who?...Alison to you after you listen to me.
.........There are more, but I can't keep up with them all!
Much love and I promise more later!
Nathan: The captain of a ship in the royal navy was charged with retrieving his queens treasure from a secret location. He'd have to sail through pirate infested waters and he must not be captured or sunk. The first sighting of a pirate ship, the captain told the first mate to get his red coat. After a long hard battle, they escaped with many men wounded. The captain asked the first mate to clean and put away the red coat.
Later in the voyage they were seen by two pirate ships, again the captain ordered the first mate to get his red coat. Following a fierce and bloody battle the captain asked the first mate to return the red coat to his cabin. The first mate asked the captain why he always fought in his red coat, the captain replied that it was so the sailors wouldn't despair when they saw the captain bleeding from battle wounds.
Just then the signal was given that there were ships on the horizon. The captain looked through his spy glass and counted at least ten ships. He turned to his first mate and said, "Give the order to prepare for battle, and bring me my brown pants!"
Gabriel: If there were no such thing as grass, all the cows would die, and that would be an udder disaster.
Reed: How do you catch a polar bear? You go into the middle of a frozen lake or pond, and drill a hole in the ice. You put frozen peas all around the hole. Then, when the bear comes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.
Michael: Knock knock...who's there?...Alison...Alison who?...Alison to you after you listen to me.
.........There are more, but I can't keep up with them all!
Much love and I promise more later!
Thursday, March 5, 2009
March?...Already?!
February went by so quickly...and now March is progressing...the trouble with this?...Nathan turns 14 on the 8th, and I'm absolutely baffled and astounded that so much time has passed!
Although he doesn't yet weigh as much as I do, he's suddenly taller than me...is that allowed?
He starts seminary and high school next year...who authorized this?
This is the first school year that he's cared about clothes and shoes...he has very definite opinions about what he doesn't want, and I get to guess what is acceptable. He does his hair, his curls have to be a certain way...he has a preference for certain shampoos and conditioners...he finally understands how important his grades are and works to find a healthy balance between school, scouts, church, friends and exercise.
I've been asked frequently if I feel old having a teenager...NO!!! I feel horribly inadequate, age wise, to have a 14-year-old. What's worse is that in May Gabriel will be 13 and there will be two of them! By the time Nathan is 18 there will be 4 of them...I will be more and more outnumbered and I still don't recall anyone asking permission for the growth of these children.
Warning signs of unauthorized growth:
Pants that fit last week are now floods.
We get to be excited about armpit hair.
Voices crack and girls aren't icky any more.
History and Discovery chanel really are as cool as mom's been saying for years.
Naps are cool again.
Girls aren't icky any more.
Clean teeth and breath are very important. (Mom and the dentist were right).
Helping with everyday things isn't punishment.
Girls aren't icky anymore!!!
I'm not sure how, or when, but they're growing into awesome young men, I'm astounded at how smart they are, how big they are, and how I look at them expecting that they'll still be my sweet little guys only to find that they're maturing and much closer to driving and dating than I'm comfortable with!
I'm ready for the sweet embrace of senility and the ultimate frozen yogurt!
Although he doesn't yet weigh as much as I do, he's suddenly taller than me...is that allowed?
He starts seminary and high school next year...who authorized this?
This is the first school year that he's cared about clothes and shoes...he has very definite opinions about what he doesn't want, and I get to guess what is acceptable. He does his hair, his curls have to be a certain way...he has a preference for certain shampoos and conditioners...he finally understands how important his grades are and works to find a healthy balance between school, scouts, church, friends and exercise.
I've been asked frequently if I feel old having a teenager...NO!!! I feel horribly inadequate, age wise, to have a 14-year-old. What's worse is that in May Gabriel will be 13 and there will be two of them! By the time Nathan is 18 there will be 4 of them...I will be more and more outnumbered and I still don't recall anyone asking permission for the growth of these children.
Warning signs of unauthorized growth:
Pants that fit last week are now floods.
We get to be excited about armpit hair.
Voices crack and girls aren't icky any more.
History and Discovery chanel really are as cool as mom's been saying for years.
Naps are cool again.
Girls aren't icky any more.
Clean teeth and breath are very important. (Mom and the dentist were right).
Helping with everyday things isn't punishment.
Girls aren't icky anymore!!!
I'm not sure how, or when, but they're growing into awesome young men, I'm astounded at how smart they are, how big they are, and how I look at them expecting that they'll still be my sweet little guys only to find that they're maturing and much closer to driving and dating than I'm comfortable with!
I'm ready for the sweet embrace of senility and the ultimate frozen yogurt!
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Worker Bees
Busy. A complete and accurate description of my current state of life!
Third term has started and the kids are prematurely excited for summer vacation.
We're grateful for the break in snow shoveling, though we don't expect it to last.
The boys are happy that they get to miss Klondike camp this year...last year they stayed in heated yurts...not thrilled about trying unheated tents this year.
Crystal's dance recital was great. Much shorter this time, good for all of the parents who can't sit still.
Richard and I are looking for good books to read. We're trying A Series Of Unfortunate Events. So far we like it...it was highly recommended by the 4 big boys.
Reed's working and commuting and commuting and working.
Me?...I have a table full of homework waiting to be sorted and corrected, and a mountain of laundry patiently waiting to be folded.
My name is Karen but mostly I answer to mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, momma, momma, momma, momma, momma, momma, momma, momma, momma, momma, momma, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy!
Third term has started and the kids are prematurely excited for summer vacation.
We're grateful for the break in snow shoveling, though we don't expect it to last.
The boys are happy that they get to miss Klondike camp this year...last year they stayed in heated yurts...not thrilled about trying unheated tents this year.
Crystal's dance recital was great. Much shorter this time, good for all of the parents who can't sit still.
Richard and I are looking for good books to read. We're trying A Series Of Unfortunate Events. So far we like it...it was highly recommended by the 4 big boys.
Reed's working and commuting and commuting and working.
Me?...I have a table full of homework waiting to be sorted and corrected, and a mountain of laundry patiently waiting to be folded.
My name is Karen but mostly I answer to mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, momma, momma, momma, momma, momma, momma, momma, momma, momma, momma, momma, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy!
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