Remember when my boys were tiny and angelic and I was still bigger than they were?...well I'm having massive denial that they're growing so quickly. Nathan is officially taller than I am, and Gabriel will outgrow me this year. Darrian and Michael are both big enough now that they are difficult to lift, and although I can still throw Matthew or CrystalLynn over my shoulder, they've let me know that it's not always very dignified. "Mom, people are looking at us, put me down!"
Where was I going with this?...I remember a dear friend stepping on a toothpick and having her dad try to remove it from the sole of her foot with pliers...suddenly I find that my two oldest are mature enough for this kind of first aid. I stepped down on a needle point needle in my bedroom, it went clear into my heel!...Ouch!..."Nate, Gabe, run and grab the needle nose pliers from the drawer in the kitchen and bring a bottle of rubbing alcohol and some cotton."
"What do you need this for?" upon their return. "Gabe, you hold my leg down, Nate, brace my ankle so my foot doesn't run away when I start pulling." No tears, no holding of breath, just a robust, "Mom that is so gross!" Everyone lived, but now there are 2 smart Alec's that tease me about trying to stitch my own foot...trying and failing miserably!...Isn't that why we have children?...to teach us humility or to improve our sense of humor?...
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Tickle your Funny Bone
The boys are having a joke telling marathon...I thought I would share...
Nathan: The captain of a ship in the royal navy was charged with retrieving his queens treasure from a secret location. He'd have to sail through pirate infested waters and he must not be captured or sunk. The first sighting of a pirate ship, the captain told the first mate to get his red coat. After a long hard battle, they escaped with many men wounded. The captain asked the first mate to clean and put away the red coat.
Later in the voyage they were seen by two pirate ships, again the captain ordered the first mate to get his red coat. Following a fierce and bloody battle the captain asked the first mate to return the red coat to his cabin. The first mate asked the captain why he always fought in his red coat, the captain replied that it was so the sailors wouldn't despair when they saw the captain bleeding from battle wounds.
Just then the signal was given that there were ships on the horizon. The captain looked through his spy glass and counted at least ten ships. He turned to his first mate and said, "Give the order to prepare for battle, and bring me my brown pants!"
Gabriel: If there were no such thing as grass, all the cows would die, and that would be an udder disaster.
Reed: How do you catch a polar bear? You go into the middle of a frozen lake or pond, and drill a hole in the ice. You put frozen peas all around the hole. Then, when the bear comes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.
Michael: Knock knock...who's there?...Alison...Alison who?...Alison to you after you listen to me.
.........There are more, but I can't keep up with them all!
Much love and I promise more later!
Nathan: The captain of a ship in the royal navy was charged with retrieving his queens treasure from a secret location. He'd have to sail through pirate infested waters and he must not be captured or sunk. The first sighting of a pirate ship, the captain told the first mate to get his red coat. After a long hard battle, they escaped with many men wounded. The captain asked the first mate to clean and put away the red coat.
Later in the voyage they were seen by two pirate ships, again the captain ordered the first mate to get his red coat. Following a fierce and bloody battle the captain asked the first mate to return the red coat to his cabin. The first mate asked the captain why he always fought in his red coat, the captain replied that it was so the sailors wouldn't despair when they saw the captain bleeding from battle wounds.
Just then the signal was given that there were ships on the horizon. The captain looked through his spy glass and counted at least ten ships. He turned to his first mate and said, "Give the order to prepare for battle, and bring me my brown pants!"
Gabriel: If there were no such thing as grass, all the cows would die, and that would be an udder disaster.
Reed: How do you catch a polar bear? You go into the middle of a frozen lake or pond, and drill a hole in the ice. You put frozen peas all around the hole. Then, when the bear comes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.
Michael: Knock knock...who's there?...Alison...Alison who?...Alison to you after you listen to me.
.........There are more, but I can't keep up with them all!
Much love and I promise more later!
Thursday, March 5, 2009
March?...Already?!
February went by so quickly...and now March is progressing...the trouble with this?...Nathan turns 14 on the 8th, and I'm absolutely baffled and astounded that so much time has passed!
Although he doesn't yet weigh as much as I do, he's suddenly taller than me...is that allowed?
He starts seminary and high school next year...who authorized this?
This is the first school year that he's cared about clothes and shoes...he has very definite opinions about what he doesn't want, and I get to guess what is acceptable. He does his hair, his curls have to be a certain way...he has a preference for certain shampoos and conditioners...he finally understands how important his grades are and works to find a healthy balance between school, scouts, church, friends and exercise.
I've been asked frequently if I feel old having a teenager...NO!!! I feel horribly inadequate, age wise, to have a 14-year-old. What's worse is that in May Gabriel will be 13 and there will be two of them! By the time Nathan is 18 there will be 4 of them...I will be more and more outnumbered and I still don't recall anyone asking permission for the growth of these children.
Warning signs of unauthorized growth:
Pants that fit last week are now floods.
We get to be excited about armpit hair.
Voices crack and girls aren't icky any more.
History and Discovery chanel really are as cool as mom's been saying for years.
Naps are cool again.
Girls aren't icky any more.
Clean teeth and breath are very important. (Mom and the dentist were right).
Helping with everyday things isn't punishment.
Girls aren't icky anymore!!!
I'm not sure how, or when, but they're growing into awesome young men, I'm astounded at how smart they are, how big they are, and how I look at them expecting that they'll still be my sweet little guys only to find that they're maturing and much closer to driving and dating than I'm comfortable with!
I'm ready for the sweet embrace of senility and the ultimate frozen yogurt!
Although he doesn't yet weigh as much as I do, he's suddenly taller than me...is that allowed?
He starts seminary and high school next year...who authorized this?
This is the first school year that he's cared about clothes and shoes...he has very definite opinions about what he doesn't want, and I get to guess what is acceptable. He does his hair, his curls have to be a certain way...he has a preference for certain shampoos and conditioners...he finally understands how important his grades are and works to find a healthy balance between school, scouts, church, friends and exercise.
I've been asked frequently if I feel old having a teenager...NO!!! I feel horribly inadequate, age wise, to have a 14-year-old. What's worse is that in May Gabriel will be 13 and there will be two of them! By the time Nathan is 18 there will be 4 of them...I will be more and more outnumbered and I still don't recall anyone asking permission for the growth of these children.
Warning signs of unauthorized growth:
Pants that fit last week are now floods.
We get to be excited about armpit hair.
Voices crack and girls aren't icky any more.
History and Discovery chanel really are as cool as mom's been saying for years.
Naps are cool again.
Girls aren't icky any more.
Clean teeth and breath are very important. (Mom and the dentist were right).
Helping with everyday things isn't punishment.
Girls aren't icky anymore!!!
I'm not sure how, or when, but they're growing into awesome young men, I'm astounded at how smart they are, how big they are, and how I look at them expecting that they'll still be my sweet little guys only to find that they're maturing and much closer to driving and dating than I'm comfortable with!
I'm ready for the sweet embrace of senility and the ultimate frozen yogurt!
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Worker Bees
Busy. A complete and accurate description of my current state of life!
Third term has started and the kids are prematurely excited for summer vacation.
We're grateful for the break in snow shoveling, though we don't expect it to last.
The boys are happy that they get to miss Klondike camp this year...last year they stayed in heated yurts...not thrilled about trying unheated tents this year.
Crystal's dance recital was great. Much shorter this time, good for all of the parents who can't sit still.
Richard and I are looking for good books to read. We're trying A Series Of Unfortunate Events. So far we like it...it was highly recommended by the 4 big boys.
Reed's working and commuting and commuting and working.
Me?...I have a table full of homework waiting to be sorted and corrected, and a mountain of laundry patiently waiting to be folded.
My name is Karen but mostly I answer to mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, momma, momma, momma, momma, momma, momma, momma, momma, momma, momma, momma, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy!
Third term has started and the kids are prematurely excited for summer vacation.
We're grateful for the break in snow shoveling, though we don't expect it to last.
The boys are happy that they get to miss Klondike camp this year...last year they stayed in heated yurts...not thrilled about trying unheated tents this year.
Crystal's dance recital was great. Much shorter this time, good for all of the parents who can't sit still.
Richard and I are looking for good books to read. We're trying A Series Of Unfortunate Events. So far we like it...it was highly recommended by the 4 big boys.
Reed's working and commuting and commuting and working.
Me?...I have a table full of homework waiting to be sorted and corrected, and a mountain of laundry patiently waiting to be folded.
My name is Karen but mostly I answer to mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, momma, momma, momma, momma, momma, momma, momma, momma, momma, momma, momma, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy!
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Santas Magic Snowball
The boys have tried and tried to catch a glimpse of various holiday and special occasion characters. Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy (or Tooth Master), have all been waited for. No pictures or captures have ever resulted, but the boys swear to a very close call with Santa...
...Apparently, if you wait up to catch Santa in the act of delivering presents, and he can't wait any longer for sleep to overtake you...or you wake while he's already down the chimney...he carries with him a magic snowball that contains sparkling sleep enhanced ice crystals. Santa, seeing all and having already checked on behavior, takes aim and when the magical snow ball hits you in the face, you're suddenly asleep.
When you wake in the morning you have memories of the sound of bells jingling, but all you remember seeing is a snowball flying straight at your face! (The boys have decided that it has superior "stay on target" power...because Santa throws it before you can see him and it must be able to take corners and change directions without interference).
Magic snowballs, Easter Bunny's with Ninja stealth, Tooth Fairies with colored tutu's or manly togas...boys are so weird!
...Apparently, if you wait up to catch Santa in the act of delivering presents, and he can't wait any longer for sleep to overtake you...or you wake while he's already down the chimney...he carries with him a magic snowball that contains sparkling sleep enhanced ice crystals. Santa, seeing all and having already checked on behavior, takes aim and when the magical snow ball hits you in the face, you're suddenly asleep.
When you wake in the morning you have memories of the sound of bells jingling, but all you remember seeing is a snowball flying straight at your face! (The boys have decided that it has superior "stay on target" power...because Santa throws it before you can see him and it must be able to take corners and change directions without interference).
Magic snowballs, Easter Bunny's with Ninja stealth, Tooth Fairies with colored tutu's or manly togas...boys are so weird!
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Happy 2009
Good Gravy!
With all the running around the holiday season provides for us...taking kids to other mom and other dad, running to pick them up at the drop of someone else's hat, shopping and celebrating and santa, Ward Christmas breakfasts and sledding...I thought I might skip Christmas for the time being, and enlighten everyone about how we celebrated New Years. (Which I am convinced is only a holiday because the kids need another excuse to stay awake)...So here goes!
My rotten little pug, Manny (Full name: Lord Manning of Copper Hills) ate a whole pound of holiday M & M's. Thrilled at this discovery, I got to induce vomiting. (Not to bad, but the results were horrible). Four hours of carpet scrubbing later, he was done and I was exhausted. (No ill effects. Now that I know how to make them urp I will never lose another dog to chocolate poisoning).
Reed picked up 3 of our kids on his way home from work, more than happy that he missed the chocolate adventure. Expecting my little brother and his family for dinner, we readied the kids and the house.
When the cousins arrived we had the usual chaos of getting everyone in and dry and warm, and somehow someone with their arms full tripped over a toddler and fell against the front door, which slammed open hard, and the doorknob went right through the front of our 55 gallon aquarium. Water everywhere. Everyone scrambled to catch water, fish, grab towels, the wet dry vacuum and get the rugs off the floor.
Hours later, with the worst of it cleaned up, and our fish all safely deposited in my sister's aquarium in Heber, every muscle in my torso, my arms, my shoulders...on fire! The pain was so incredible that I threw up all night. (Didn't pass out once! I was rather pleased with myself about that).
...In closing I've decided I don't like fish, chocolate, or New Years Eve. I resent mess and unplanned indoor pools. Next year, I fully intend to spend this particular holiday safely encompassed in the comforter on my bed.
Happy New Year!!!!
With all the running around the holiday season provides for us...taking kids to other mom and other dad, running to pick them up at the drop of someone else's hat, shopping and celebrating and santa, Ward Christmas breakfasts and sledding...I thought I might skip Christmas for the time being, and enlighten everyone about how we celebrated New Years. (Which I am convinced is only a holiday because the kids need another excuse to stay awake)...So here goes!
My rotten little pug, Manny (Full name: Lord Manning of Copper Hills) ate a whole pound of holiday M & M's. Thrilled at this discovery, I got to induce vomiting. (Not to bad, but the results were horrible). Four hours of carpet scrubbing later, he was done and I was exhausted. (No ill effects. Now that I know how to make them urp I will never lose another dog to chocolate poisoning).
Reed picked up 3 of our kids on his way home from work, more than happy that he missed the chocolate adventure. Expecting my little brother and his family for dinner, we readied the kids and the house.
When the cousins arrived we had the usual chaos of getting everyone in and dry and warm, and somehow someone with their arms full tripped over a toddler and fell against the front door, which slammed open hard, and the doorknob went right through the front of our 55 gallon aquarium. Water everywhere. Everyone scrambled to catch water, fish, grab towels, the wet dry vacuum and get the rugs off the floor.
Hours later, with the worst of it cleaned up, and our fish all safely deposited in my sister's aquarium in Heber, every muscle in my torso, my arms, my shoulders...on fire! The pain was so incredible that I threw up all night. (Didn't pass out once! I was rather pleased with myself about that).
...In closing I've decided I don't like fish, chocolate, or New Years Eve. I resent mess and unplanned indoor pools. Next year, I fully intend to spend this particular holiday safely encompassed in the comforter on my bed.
Happy New Year!!!!
Monday, December 8, 2008
Tooth Fairy
With all the things that my kids love and believe, I'm often surprised at just how magical they make everything, but how serious they can be. Matthew informed me recently that there's no such thing as Santa Claus, Reed gets him his Christmas gifts. The older boys have teased me about the Easter Bunny for years. (Where do you hide your ears and tail, mom)?
Now it's the tooth fairy. Matthew and CrystalLynn lost their first tooth this past week, (Darrian and Michael always lost teeth at the same time, makes me believe they really are my little brown hair brown eyed, all knees and elbows twins). Matthew put his tooth in a plastic bag under his pillow. (At our house we leave teeth in an envelope on the kitchen counter so that she doesn't wake anyone up trying to dig under pillows). He wanted to try and catch her. He didn't.
Crystal put her tooth in an envelope under her pillow, and this morning she found money under her pillow, and the envelope was torn open on the kitchen counter, her tooth missing. I said maybe the tooth fairy had to turn on a light to check and make sure there really was a tooth, and did it in the kitchen so she wouldn't wake anyone up. Crystal was ok with that.
I understand that at my sister-in-laws house you leave the tooth in a cup of water. You can dye the water with food coloring, and the tooth fairy wears a tutu the same color as the water in the cup. In the morning the colored water is gone the tooth is gone and the money is left in the cup.
So followed a heated debate between the 4 older boys about the believability of the tooth fairy. One of them swears he's seen her...like a twinkling star zipping through the air...another is adamant that the tooth fairy is a man, and he wears a toga, not a tutu. (He should be called the Tooth Master, fairies are gay)!
In the middle of all this I have one child determined to sleep on the couch this Christmas and see Santa. "I've heard his sleigh bells, I've seen the magic snowball, (more on the snowball later) but I've never seen Santa." Now to convince them all that Santa simply doesn't deliver gifts while anyone is in the room. He likes his anonymity.
Now it's the tooth fairy. Matthew and CrystalLynn lost their first tooth this past week, (Darrian and Michael always lost teeth at the same time, makes me believe they really are my little brown hair brown eyed, all knees and elbows twins). Matthew put his tooth in a plastic bag under his pillow. (At our house we leave teeth in an envelope on the kitchen counter so that she doesn't wake anyone up trying to dig under pillows). He wanted to try and catch her. He didn't.
Crystal put her tooth in an envelope under her pillow, and this morning she found money under her pillow, and the envelope was torn open on the kitchen counter, her tooth missing. I said maybe the tooth fairy had to turn on a light to check and make sure there really was a tooth, and did it in the kitchen so she wouldn't wake anyone up. Crystal was ok with that.
I understand that at my sister-in-laws house you leave the tooth in a cup of water. You can dye the water with food coloring, and the tooth fairy wears a tutu the same color as the water in the cup. In the morning the colored water is gone the tooth is gone and the money is left in the cup.
So followed a heated debate between the 4 older boys about the believability of the tooth fairy. One of them swears he's seen her...like a twinkling star zipping through the air...another is adamant that the tooth fairy is a man, and he wears a toga, not a tutu. (He should be called the Tooth Master, fairies are gay)!
In the middle of all this I have one child determined to sleep on the couch this Christmas and see Santa. "I've heard his sleigh bells, I've seen the magic snowball, (more on the snowball later) but I've never seen Santa." Now to convince them all that Santa simply doesn't deliver gifts while anyone is in the room. He likes his anonymity.
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